changing tides.

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Changing Tides

Held this ship together
with string and tape.
Distorted my body
to fit into cracks ripped open by surging tides,
bursting at seams, capsizing,
head thrown back, lips clawing at air
above the surface of an ocean of tears.

I am turning to water.
Losing grip
on ties that bind me to sinking ships
twisted by storms.
Ears, filling up with voices...

Can’t save what it drowning
but you will die trying.

Muscles too weak to swim towards shore.
Light reflecting off peaks of churning tides,
caught in the curl,
arms flailing
legs burning
filling up with water, yearning for air.

You said a change would come.
and so I waited;
bated breath stuck in throat,
choking on tears that rose like waves.
Absolve the sins with words
brushed against cheek
pressed into plastic
rise and fall on crash courses
with the fury of the fates.

Emotions, mercurial,
tempting the knees to shake.
Toes gripping trapeze
ground below so far.

I have fallen once again.

Haunted by the upswings
tempting better judgments.
The way out is a circle
and your kiss blocks my path.

I’m drowning.

Tears spilling onto paper;
inked promises
made to self in
moments of strength,


I am

Strings reattaching to limbs
pull my legs into
bent positions.
Prostrate at your footprints.

Echoes of lies ringing in my ears
mix with promises
I will come to see

There are not enough tears
to fill this ocean between us
yet still, I have loved you
until the soul has become parched
and I am but a withered flower
closed upon itself.

You said a change would come.
But I can no longer drown for you.
Watch me rise above waves of our sanctity
that spilled from leaking lips.
Take back strokes of ego
and every kiss I ever laid upon slippery skin.

I wish for crests of waves
to swallow you whole.
Bare teeth and cut you down
to a size more befitting of your face;
bury you in watery graves
at the edges of our shore.

No more
broken savior.
No more hollow martyr.
I’m filling up with water
to flood you out.

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