so i was reading this horoscope profile that a friend posted up and it was so dead on it was surprising. most of it dealt with my nature, as a gemini, to be rather flighty and unable to take anything seriously beyond the immediate infatuation when things are new. ive read this in other 'profiles' and yeah, i'll admit it, thats me in a nutshell. with regards to everything in my life im very A.D.D... over the top obsessed at first, and then just over it.

so as im sitting here watching one of those Baby Story marathons... and im getting all teary-eyed about how much i want children sometime in the near future... this tendency of mine to flit from interest to interest is just looming in my face. ive spent most of my life working with children of various ages in a ton of different capacities... i know what happens when parents arent invested in their children. and i dont want to be that. i dont want to be the one that takes a lackadaisical approach to such a big responsibility. but i mean damn, i cant even keep a blog! got all obsessed with it for a minute... and then short-changed it by just posting some random bits of poetry here or there. looks like ive been active right? nah. thats just me cheating and switching the dates, the half-assing im used to. at least im trying to look dedicated, right?

and i guess even this blog right here is somewhat metaphorical for my life... i really cant commit to ANYTHING. its not like i have a lack of words... or that i cant write. i just cant seem to do it on the regular. but thats not my fault, right? blame it on my momma who decided to pop me out in june rather than may. maybe if i was born at the end of june instead of the beginning i could be maternal and responsible like the Cancer. but nooooo. i am stuck as the 'forever-childlike' gemini.

so i started thinking. is this something i can overcome? can i train myself to be committed to something? i guess in a way i see this blog as a challenge. can i make myself write in it everyday? and now im rambling, but we'll see. every day for a month?

its on.